Alex’s story: challenging behaviour from parents

I’ve worked in primary education for 30 years, and it has changed hugely – particularly in recent years. Many parents now question our decisions and don’t trust us as professionals. Complaints, once infrequent, have become the norm, and vexatious complaints are a growing issue, especially for school leaders. As the only compulsory universal service, everything falls on schools, leaving no boundaries between our work and the expectations placed on us.

Parental complaints have a huge impact on teachers’ mental health. Long, frequent emails from parents, the pressure to respond immediately, and the constant worry about how they will react can be overwhelming.

OFSTED’s one-word judgments have only worsened the problem. Parents were encouraged during the pandemic to complain to OFSTED, and this trend has continued. Inspections give staff just one day’s notice, reinforcing the expectation that teachers must always be available. This lack of boundaries is exacerbated by technology, allowing parents to involve themselves in every aspect of a teacher’s role, often at the cost of our wellbeing.

At the same time, more pupils are struggling, and this understandably causes parents anxiety. As a parent of a child with SEND, I know firsthand how frustrating the lack of support can be. Schools are under immense financial pressure, making it even harder to provide the necessary resources for pupils with additional needs. Yet the curriculum remains rigid, assessing children by a narrow set of age-related expectations. There needs to be a massive overhaul, with more trust placed in educators as experts rather than dictating how they should teach. This level of distrust would not be tolerated in any other profession, and it only fuels parents' lack of confidence in schools.

External support services, such as CAMHS, are another challenge. In my experience as a deputy head, multi-agency work is inconsistent and lacks true collaboration. Too often, these services set unrealistic expectations for parents, making promises that schools simply cannot meet. In some cases, they even undermine schools, creating further division rather than working together to support children effectively.

When parents are unhappy with a school, children pick up on it. It affects their behaviour and their respect for staff. I’ve heard of parents telling their children not to listen to teachers or insisting that teachers cannot speak to their child without them present. In general, children are being raised with fewer boundaries, and the impact of COVID is still being felt – lower attendance, parents wanting control over what happens in the classroom, and a noticeable decline in respect for teachers.

Education is at a crossroads. Without proper funding, trust in educators, and clear boundaries between schools and parents, we risk further damaging the profession and, ultimately, the education and wellbeing of the children we are here to support.

*Name changed to protect identity

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